Uni"Tie"

The days of the Metrosexual man are now over.  Who can resist the unibrow.  I know you ladies can't.  This is the new beginning, a new era where unrestrained facial hair will take over the masses. This 1980's series 417 tie by Van Heusen is the first small step for man and a giant leap for mankind.

Goodbye Tie

"I hate to see you go but I love to watch you leave."  That was the theme of the night for the official send off for our esteemed colleague The Son of Wolf.  Where better to have a friendly send off than the classy establishment that is the glorious Nassau Bar.  It was tough saying goodbye to the beautiful bartenders and even harder to say goodbye to our good friend and this stylish 100% silk Van Heusen Tie.  Best of luck Ben.

Good Tiems for All

It is not often that a tie is worthy of this blog that is not part of my collection but this Perry Ellis Portfolio tie fits the bill.  Given as a gift to the Groomsmen of my friend's wedding, I wore it proudly underneath the shadow of the Empire State Building.  Little did I know but soon I would also be wearing that martini...oops  Congrats Mike and Katie!

NighTIE

Red wine - $15 a glass
Rooftop Bar Access- $20 for the doorman to cut the line
Calvin Klein 100% silk, grey and burgundy plaid tie - $35
Convincing one of your best friend's girlfriend to pose for a picture on the internet - Priceless

Ziptie

I'm not too keen on talking about ties that are not part of my collection but this tie is definitely blog worthy.  The 8th wonder of the world, this Van Heusen tie is not a clip on, nor a regular tie.  Instead, it is tightened and loosened by pulling on a zipper hidden inside the knot.  Necktie innovation at its finest.

Tie The Knot

People spend months planning their weddings down to the most minute detail.  On this lucky groom's day, one of those small details was overlooked.  After an hour and a half of watching instructional videos on YouTube of how to tie a bowtie and a failed attempt by one of the most respected tie bloggers around, the Best Man was forced to think outside the box.  A quick trip down to the bustling streets of New York yielded the hero of the day.  A sales clerk from a men's suit store a few blocks away agreed to come to the wedding and 2 minutes later we were in business.

Happy New Year!!

What better way to celebrate Rosh Hashanah than having a good old processed fish eating contest while grossing out your co-workers at lunch?  It was a dead heat between me finishing off the gelatinous goodness of the canned Gefilte Fish and my co-worker slurping down a can of protein-packed, smoked kippers.  In the end, I won the TIE breaker by sporting a blue and white starred Van Heusen 100% silk necktie.      

4 Seconds of Fame

I usually try to be funny and take interesting photos for my blog posts but that is all ending today.  Now that I am famous and on TV, I can do whatever I want.  I'm not even wearing a tie today.  But if I was, it would  perfectly match my plum colored Polo shirt.  The paparazzi is probably going to follow me home tonight.

Rico Suave

This average Joe was transformed before your eyes into a lady killer as soon as he wrapped this Series 417 tie by Van Heusen around his neck.  With one wink of an eye, hoards of women flocked to him to the point where he needed to fight them off with a water hose.

9/11 Never Forget

Grant Thomas 100% silk tie Hand Made in the U.S.A

Space Trash?

Surrounded by the destroyed aluminum hulk of a fallen satellite, this star patterned, 100% silk tie by Van Heusen hasn't been seen on Earth since the days of Sputnik.  Good thing for the NASA budget cuts because I kinda like this tie, and it looks like it won't going back into orbit anytime soon.

Working Like a Dog

Say goodbye to the dog days of summer and hello to cooler weather.  Nobody looks cooler than our new puppy office mascot sporting a Series 417 by Van Heusen tie covered in stylish amorphous blobs.

Shoo Tie

Having issues keeping the public out of your construction site? Are a fence and caution signs just not doing the job?  All you need to do is display this hideous blue and yellow, tie dye patterned, Geoffrey Beene tie and onlookers will surely be scared away.  Maybe I should stop wearing it on first dates....

Hoo"Tie" and the Blowfish

The last time that this Owl Eye patterned tie by Ashberry was stylish, Hootie was breaking hearts and holding hands on top of the Billboard charts.  Now it just looks creepy.

Weekend "Work"

The job is never done for an avid Tie Blogger like myself.  I usually try to take the weekends off to recover from the stresses of publishing one of the most respected blogs in the Tie community.  However, this serpent skin themed, Series 417 tie by Van Heusen camouflaged by blue, yellow and grey scales slithered its way around the neck of one of our newest TieOneOff models. Unseen since the 80's, this rare tie is quite the lady killer.

Wandering Tie

What is the first thing you notice when you look at this photo?  I know what you are thinking...The beautiful, voluptuous and sexy Series 417 by Van Heusen tie made from 100% silk.  At least that's the first thing I noticed.  For all of the die hard tie fans out there, you can see this "tie" in person on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights at the Iron Horse Bar.

Never Enough "Tie"m

My apologies for slacking on the daily blog posts these past few weeks.  In an effort to get back up to date I have summarized the unlucky ties who were not fortunate enough to get their own post.  Though many of them are pretty horrible (especially the Jukebox tie) they will never see the glory of their other tie brethren. 

Ties for a Good Cause

While most celebrities use their fame to get free meals at fancy restaurants and access to the most exclusive night clubs, I instead use it for a good cause.  Today, Tie One Off is teaming up with the St. Jude Children's Research Hospital to raise money for their Give Thanks Walk which will take place on November 17th in Poughkeepsie, NY.  Not only to they save kids lives, they make sweet ties.  

Hybrid

A few years ago people said that Hybrid cars were just a fad.  Today, they are some of the most popular vehicles on the road.  I  foresee this 100% silk tie by Van Heusen with a bowtie pattern becoming the next hybrid phenomenon.  Part conventional tie, part bow tie, wearers are able to look smart for any occasion. Not really...

Par"tie" on Wayne

Leave it to our friendly neighbors to the North to show us a good time.  This Canadian themed tie was sported by a lovely young lady while mounting our stuffed pig mascot.  We kept explaining that people ride horses at the rodeo, not pigs, but that small fact didn't seem to sink in.

Trend Setter??

I usually save the ridiculously out of style ties for days that I know I don't have meetings that require me to look too professional. Today was one of those days, until I found out that I had to go to our main office to meet with the Director of the NY Business Unit for my company.  I hope that he thought my 1980's, Southwestern fingerpaint styled, Series 417 tie by Van Heusen was some sort of new hipster fashion trend.

Wonder Woman

Ties don't just need to be worn around your neck.  This Geoffrey Beene, burgundy, 100% silk tie was re-purposed into a stylish headband and bracelet by one of my talented co-workers.

FIRESTARTER!!

A true relic from the days of Mad Men, Donald Draper would have been proud to sport this Series 417 by Van Heusen matchbox patterned tie.  No longer an accepted office activity, this tie was banished to the smokers area outside.

Dress to Impress

Today was full of important meetings and in true "dress for the job you want, not the one you have" fashion, I decided to wear a tasteful tie from the collection.  This Geoffrey Beene cube patterned tie made from 100% silk did just the trick.  Don't worry, I will be sure to fill next week with a nice mix of unstylish and outdated ties.

Pulitzer Worthy

Classic, skinny, paisley patterned, tie by Bert Pulitzer made from 100% silk.  I am without words.

Multitask Tie

I found this cute puppy running away from her owner on my way home from work today. In true Indiana Jones fashion, I lassoed the pup with this 1980's fingerpaint patterned tie by Van Heusen and saved the day.

Doodle Tie

Today's Geoffrey Beene 100% silk tie was not a fan favorite to say the least.  The pattern, probably drawn by an 8 year old, was no match to the doodles I found on my desk by one of our interns.  I don't know what's worse, the tie or this interns future performance review....

Yeah, Baby, Yeah

Modeled by a beautiful, real life Fembot, this vintage 1970's skinny tie with a floral pattern and pink background would have been perfect for the international man of mystery.  A mystery itself, this tie has no label so we will never know its origin.

Cheers!

Today was a rare treat.  I wore a red, Series 417 by Van Heusen (a staple of the collection), tie that I actually liked.  Not only did I get to wear a tie that I wasn't ashamed of, but I convinced my favorite bartender Tommy at my favorite after work bar (http://www.yelp.com/biz/whitehorse-tavern-new-york) to show it off.

Fan"tie"sy Baseball

Great Idea...Poor Execution.  Out of my entire inherited collection, this one of a kind, hand painted, hideous, baseball themed tie by Nina Matricia seemed like the perfect tie to wear in honor of the MLB All-Star Game. Unfortunately, I was informed when I got to work that the game was on Tuesday.

Make Lemonade

When Life Gives You Lemons...

Today's Series 417 by Van Heusen 100% Silk tie didn't give me much to work with.  The busy pattern which was described to resemble "ivy growing up my neck" left me a bit uninspired. To compensate for the lack of style, I perfectly paired the tie with a matching grey shirt.  Fully coordinated, I proudly rode the train home with dignity knowing that even though people may think my clothes are ugly, they at least knew I wasn't color blind.

Re-Gift?

When I put on this Geoffrey Beene 100% silk tie today I thought it looked a bit familiar.  I didn't solve the mystery until after lunch when I noticed the hard plastic security bar hiding inside.  I bought the tie as a christmas gift a few years back.  Apparently it wasn't a winner.

Rain Dance Tie

In an effort to end the unrelenting heat overcoming the NYC area, I wore this blue raindrop patterned Geoffrey Beene 100% silk tie. Needless to say...my idea didn't work. Stay hydrated NY.

Happy Independence Day Eve!

Some ties I can't even pull off (even though I wore it at work all day).  Good thing I found a lucky Tieoneoff fan to model this exotic tropical themed Series 417 tie by Van Heusen made from 100% silk. Enjoy your day off tomorrow!

Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool

After a week long vacation away from reality, I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight. Back to School. Back to School. Well, here goes nothing...(thanks for the quote Billy Madison) in a vintage Christian Dior, Cravates all silk skinny tie covered with a stylish geometric cube pattern. 

"Tie"m Bomb

This Cold War relic was designed in secrecy at an undisclosed location in South Dakota just like the Minuteman I nuclear intercontinental ballistic missile silo that it sits atop. Without a label, we will never know the true origin of this 100% silk masterpiece.

The Circle of Life

This vintage Geoffrey Beene 100% slate tie went full circle today when we photographed it at the same quarry where it was mined almost 30 years ago. The striations of the tie still perfectly line up with the stone from which it once lay.

Danger Tie

Are you afraid of heights? Afraid of living on the edge? If so, then this Geoffrey Beene 100% silk tie is the solution to all of your problems. Sporting a Native American tribal pattern this tie will bring out the warrior instinct in you.  With that said... JUMP!!!

Skidmarks!!! The Good Kind

 

This week I am taking Tieoneoff on the road to the exclusive vacation destination of South Dakota. I know luxurious ties and rugged South Dakota normally don't mesh however this Erreuno 100% Italian silk tie fit in perfectly. The crisscross alternating pattern of red bars and tiedyed horribleness resembled the skidmarks from my mountain bike which I made during a torturous 50 mile ride along the George S. Mickelson trail from Deadwood to Hill City.

SPF 100% Silk

The sun was blazing today and so was this beach bum's dream tie by Geoffrey Beene.  Made from 100% silk and covered with blue skies and beaming suns people just couldn't resist relaxing and catching some rays under the ties warm glow. 

Nice Ties Finish Last

To celebrate the official first day of summer I spoiled myself with the rare luxury of wearing a fashionable tie from my seemingly limitless unfashionable tie wardrobe.  The Calvin Klein Collection 100% silk tie with an alternating grey and blue square pattern would have been great accessory to wear to my place of work on a normal day.  Unfortunately, I chose to wear the tie on the hottest day of the year and my sweaty mess of a dress shirt totally negated any style points I got from the tie.

"Tie"ny Dancer

 Today's Metropolitan View all silk tie threw me for a loop.  Did the stylish geometric pattern resemble the scales of a reptilian creature or the cell structures of amoebas?   Answer:  Neither

The true beauty of this tie is only seen when modeled by another one of our office mascots Mr. Seal.  Though not as much of a rockstar as the real Seal (who was probably popular when this tie was designed), Mr. Seal does a pretty good job at jamming on his axe adorned with this fretboard resembling tie.

Hunger Games

Have you ever gotten to work only to realize that you forgot to bring your lunch?  Well that happened to me today.  Ironically, I wore a hunger inducing Series 417 tie by Van Heusen adorned with a stylish cornucopia of fruit-like objects.  Not only did I have to spend the day fighting through hunger pains coursing through my empty stomach, every time I looked down I was mocked by delectable images hanging from my neck. 

Happy Fathers Day!!!!

In an effort to better organize and display my impressive collection of ties, I decided to install an 8 foot decorative curtain rod on the wall of my apartment. To my dismay, about half way through placing the ties on the rod, a chain reaction tievalanche occurred causing about 150 ties to plummet to the floor.

Mar"Tie"ni Shaken, Not Stirred

Today we decided to class up the place  with a vintage striped skinny tie by the famed designer Christian Dior.  Created from a luxurious combination of 80% polyester and 20% silk this tie impresses onlookers with a style and class like the famed James Bond

Tie R L

Today was my first brush with fame!!! I had my first fan request and in true TRL Carson Daly style I fulfilled my fans dreams by donning a purple Fierte S.R.L 100% silk tie.  The classy chain-link fence patterned tie perfectly complimented the rugged yet dignified black work boots and accompanying Staten Island Hat of my handsome model.  Keep the requests coming people ....

Mis"tie" Clouds Hide the Skyline

Some days I even impress myself.  Not only does today's 417 Series by Van Heusen tie coordinate perfectly with our model's shirt.  Its "whimsical", "dreamy" and "cloudlike" pattern compliment the overcast skies that are cloaking the NY skyline today.  On days like these, one quote always manages to stick with me "A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition".

The Tie Stands Alone

Today was a sad and lonely day for this iridescent burgundy, green, and teal Editions by Van Heusen 100% polyester tie. Not only could I not find a muse willing to model this classic neck appurtenant but I was inundated with comments such as "it looks like you got sick at a wine tasting".  In the end, I chose this handsome bowling pin to show off the ugly ducking of a tie because the last time this tie was probably stylish bowling was actually a popular "sport".

BEWARE OF THE YE"TIE"

Behold the first photographic evidence EVER of the elusive and mysterious Governors Island Ye"tie"!  The creature was spotted lurking in the bushes of the Island's historic district donning her ceremonial Geoffrey Beene 100% silk headgarb,  (it's really a tie but she's a little slow so we humor her and call it a headgarb). This truly unique tie consists of alternating rows of geometric circles and stripes that come together to form a design that hasn't been stylish since 1988.  

Hipster Inspired

This red, oversize patterned, 417 Series tie by Van Heusen that was described to resemble "broccoli on acid" and "ugly elf shoes" left me a bit uninspired.  I sat down today in my thinking chair, defeated.  Then, out of the blue, I was contacted by a good friend and author of this organic food blog and was invited to dinner. After work, I hopped on the L train and entered a different world, one that I had never seen before, a place where it is Halloween everyday, Williamsburg.  Soon my normally out of place retro tie fit in perfectly with its surroundings and made me realize that no matter how ugly my ties are, hipsters still dress worse than I do.